What is LOVE for you? Demee Koch answers.
This week I speak to Demee Koch, a woman who loves life and everything it has to offer. She is stubbornly determined, a believer in magic and in the power of kindness, never afraid to defy odds to pursue her dreams.
Demee is an inspirational source for female entrepreneurship. The multipreneur is a strong advocate for conscious businesses. Awarded as the most influential Filipinas in the world, Demee uses her influence to give back. She supports various charities aiming to improve the lives of others.
🔵 _ _ _ _
Imagine that from this moment on, the verb “to love” does not exist anymore. How do you express yourself when you feel love? In words, actions?
The words would be CHERISH and ADORE. I am someone who likes physical contact, I would express my feelings through hugs, kisses, cuddles and in simple touch of the hand and the face, and through my eyes.
Concrete example would be telling the person you love that you miss them when you do, thanking them for being there for you, and giving random but honest compliments or surprising them with things they love. For touch, I express mine by touching their face or holding their hands and hugging them like wildfire on cold winter days.
Our eyes are so powerful in channelling our emotions. I look at my loved ones like a child at a candy shop, in excitement, in awe, in adoration and in love!
🔵 LOVE
You have lived one month without using the word love. Then, it suddenly re-appears, but in the dictionaries it is without definition. You are the person to write it.
Love is when you bloom and make others bloom, making you feel willing and capable of doing everything just to make your beloved smile or be happy. Love is not selfish nor jealous but it is nurturing and forgiving. Love is a mixture of deep pain and joy, pain when you miss your beloved and joy when he/she is around. Love is a series of little sweet and sincere mundane gestures, and our ability to find beauty in the weakness and insecurities of our beloved.
🔵 Out of LOVE
In which situation (or inner state of being) did you feel most disconnected or excluded from love? Can you remember and share the thoughts that you were thinking in this state of being?
There are different layers of love with different sets of people in our lives, for some we tend to give more and others less or we tend to channel or express it differently with different people. I feel disconnected when I reach a point of letting go. Love becomes dim when there is indifference.
This is not however because I stopped loving that particular person, I just might love him/her less enough to not put her in my top priority in my life. Where there is emotion there is love — even in the most negative one. Because you see, you will never hate if there is no love. You will never resent or be angry if you do not care.
🔵 Returning into LOVE
When you have been out of Love, how do you help yourself to re-enter?
I remind myself that LOVE is power and it is the source of all joy and fulfillment. Love is the end of all and is all in this world. With LOVE we are powerful and capable of making everything possible.
▷Ask me a question about LOVE
What is your own definition of LOVE?
Being in LOVE to me means seeing and feeling my full potential and believing that I can live this potential. Being in LOVE with someone means seeing, feeling, believing their full potential while accepting them as they are right now, in this very moment. This applies to self LOVE, too.
🔵 Almost Lovers
Let me start by saying what an almost lover is for me. An almost lover is a person, with whom you feel SO yourself, SO creative, SO in love that you feel — this is my life partner. However, an almost lover does not want to be with you. Did you have an experience like this? And if so — did your almost love story lead to important inner and outer transformations in your life that you are now grateful for? Which are your favorite two ones?
OH YES. I once had someone so in tune with me, who lights me up even with just the thought of him and I to him (at least I thought so). But we both were in different stages of our lives with different priorities and responsibilities, so we kind of mutually agreed that we cannot be together.
This taught me that LOVE has different layers, and true LOVE is indeed about doing what’s best for each other.
Romantic LOVE is not enough to sustain a relationship, the commitment to go through the process of LOVING, FALLING OUT OF LOVE AND FALLING IN LOVE AGAIN does.
The honeymoon period lasts only a year or less, after that, both parties have to face “life” and commit to working on accepting each others flaws and shortcomings.
🔵 On Leaving
What happens to (your) LOVE when a partner/ crush/ lover — someone you have been in love with — leaves you?
love— leaves you?
Initial reaction is, I ask myself “what is wrong with me”? That comes of course with the pain and the feeling of being less coupled, with a lot of tears. After a few days of wine and whine with girlfriends, and self reflection comes the, “all men are assholes” period then shortly after that comes enlightenment. We cannot force people to love us and we cannot impose our way of loving to others. Love is voluntary and most of all love starts within us. We are always part of everything that happens to us, feelings and all.
🔵 LOVE Quotes
There are many love-quotes out there. Which is your favorite one on true romantic love — and why?
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart.
Love is an invisible force so powerful that no words or material things can justify nor explain. It is what connects us all and inspires us to be our best.
Thank you!
Learn more about Demee and her fabulous female entrepreneurship journey in her new book “Breaking Conventions In Heels” at demee.ch.
What is LOVE for you?
is a Love interview series by author Mirjam Grupp.
Share what love is for you. Get in contact at bymirjam.com.
